Reality TV

It is amazing to see the absolutely ridiculous things that people will do for money and their 15 ++ minutes of Fame. Now that is not to say that all Reality TV is stupid and mindless. (Are we talking about those who participate or those who view or both?)

If you think about it, the enormity of the popularity of these types of shows it is utterly ridiculous. There are entire Websites totally dedicated to reviewing each episode of every single reality type show that has ever come across the screen or proposed to come across the screen. On one website it lists every single reality show and I counted a total of 605 although my number may be wrong and most of these have been produced since 2000. Wow, tells you a lot about our society. People get entertainment out of watching other people in most cases make total fools of themselves and losing their own self respect for sometimes not much money at all unless they actually win a prize.

You can say that the old TV Game Shows like “What’s My Line” and stuff like that were really the early predecessors of today’s total saturation of television with these types of nonsense shows. Those shows in my eyes were fun, innocent and clean and I really think the pure game show will always have a place on TV.

This all started to explode when the writers went on strike one year and the networks had to come up with some stuff to fill time slots without boring all of us with reruns forever…. So, let’s get some people together and put them in the middle of frickin nowhere on a island to play stupid games and argue with each other, and vote people off until we have one left….. and then let’s give them a bunch of money. Then when they are done with this show, they can get on another show so to keep their 15 minutes of fame running and running and running. That’s right, there are a lot of reality TV Show participant whores, and they just go from one show to another to another. That’s not only with the contest type shows but also what I call the self promoting shows and especially true with C and D list celebrities. (However on a personal note I do love Kathy Griffin- fellow Chicago person and I am not Gay)

Actually, there are all types and kinds of reality shows that are on network and cable channels with some being interesting and others just plain frickin stupid.

Let’s start with what are really close to documentaries in episodes, these I can’t really make fun of because they are the ones I enjoy the most. Shows like Deadliest Catch, Ice Road Truckers. I am cool with those because you actually see a type of life that you would not experience otherwise. I guess they are now trying to differentiate themselves a bit by calling themselves a different genre which is not reality but actuality.

Next on my descending scale of coolness are the shows like Mythbusters, Dirty Jobs, etc.. These are also good in my book because you can actually learn things from these shows although the hosts and co-hosts are somewhat eccentric and stunts can be funny, all in all I do not think they insult the intelligence of the average American as do the others types which will be coming up shortly.

I tried to come up with a name for the next group and all I could come up with were “Self Help Shows”. You know stuff like “The Nanny” where a British accented lady shows us that we do not know how to control or raise our own kids and she has to do it for the people on the show. Personally I would like to see a show called “Nanny” where a hot 20 year old co-ed seduces the husband of the family she is working for. “Oh wait, that is on the movie channels in hotels”

Ok, now we start to get to the good stuff (in my eyes because I can make so much fun of the crap I am going to be writing about next) let’s start off with what I call The Self Promotion Show. You may say “What?” You know what I am talking about, this is a washed up celebrity or family or something like that that decides to have cameras follow them around to see what they do during the course of a day. These are shows like ”The Ashley Simpson Show”, “Being Bobby Brown”, “Tommy Lee Goes to College”, “Hey Paula”, etc. Who really frickin cares? A whole bunch of people evidently. They keep making more and more of this crap. Is this real life for these people of the shows, I seriously doubt it; some of it has to be put on because they are being followed by frickin cameras everywhere they go. I don’t know about you, but when a camera is on me at home or anywhere I tend to ham it up a bit. I normally will give a thumbs up or the finger or something to the camera. Yep, I am 100% sure this is really a chronicle of their real life. . .. NOT... But really who cares what the frick they do, I do not and don’t care to see people who make tons more money than I can ever imagine making crying on TV over the fact that their pet poodle took a crap in their yard as opposed to the place where it is supposed to crap, or that their best friend just made fun of their make-up. Who frickin cares? Yes, I just wait to watch Paula go into a hysteric crying frenzy, or Tommy Lee attempt to go to College. “Yeah right” How much of this is real and how much is a put on? Wait, isn’t Paula on another reality show also, back to my first point about washed up celebrities making a fortune on this type of garbage. But, the public perpetuates this so where there is demand there will be supply.

I am personally feeling real good now because I am just warming up on this whole topic. YEEEE HAAA.

Now we continue on with the stupid “Celebrity Shows”. Yes, you could watch a show with celebrities doing almost anything; dancing, cooking, singing duets, getting fit being moles, rapping. Some of the titles are great and take so much ingenuity. Yes, they all start with Celebrity. It took a genius to figure that out. Every once in a while there might be an A List on the show but most of these are C or D listers who have not been heard about in years. Yes their 15 minutes were up 15 years ago. I guess people have to pay their bills sometimes since most of them squandered their money anyway when they were making it. In looking through some lists the best one was “Celebrity Rehab.” Yep, that’s right we can now watch as some minor star who at one time was a celebrity goes through the DT’s during Rehab and all that. Now sing with me…. “That’s Entertainment”

We all want to see a good contest and it brings out the competitive nature in us. So we are now absolutely infiltrated with Contest Shows. There are contests where you can win money, win a job, win a wife, win a husband and I don’t know what else but there are sure a lot of contests. They either play as individuals or as teams with the ultimate goal of being the last person left. They lie, cheat , steal , betray each other, have fights, have sex, and do whatever it takes to win the ultimate prize of money or whatever. But is that the ultimate prize… NO.. The ultimate prize if that if the people liked them they will be asked to be on more and more shows…. Need I say more than Rob and Amber; like if I really wanted to watch their wedding.

The only reason I have really watched any of the Reality TV shows especially the contest type is to see how hot the women are. Yes it is sexist, but that is me. I want to see how much cleavage I can see on these babes and if they have a nice butt. Then I will root for them to go on to the next week so I can see them again and hope they wear something even more revealing the next week and I can get a nipple glimpse through some sheer fabric. Two good ones to watch if you are looking for cleavage are “Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders” and “Girls Next Door”. I asked my wife what do women look for in the guys on these shows and she said personality. (Then she glanced back at me with a huge smirk on her face)

The most recent trend is the Japanese Style game Show. “I Survived a Japanese Game Show” and “Wipeout”. Yes, I want to see a 400 pound person covered in mud with the crack of their butt showing (or being covered up by a television graphic to make it obvious) on TV. And to think it is on right after dinner. Yes, it is are funny seeing people bounce off big rubber balls into mud or hitting something hard and sliding into the water. Again it shows how desperate some people are to get their 15 minutes no matter how they humiliate themselves.

You know, I can go on and on about all this stuff but it has to end somewhere. So just some random final thoughts:

I was looking through the list of the 605 or so shows and saw one that said” Pantry Raid” this is where they go to someone’s house and make a dinner out of whatever is in their Pantry. I personally think they should have one called Panty Raid which would document the life of college men as they pursue the ultimate Panty Raid in Girls Dorms.

Then I saw it, the music started playing because now I know I had found the ultimate Reality Show as I was glancing through the list.. You got it, the one you just couldn’t miss but got cancelled anyway.

“The Battle of the Network Reality Show Stars”… Need I say more?