Shit Happens

I was thinking about what to write on this week and said shit I can’t think of anything. Then the revelation came why not write about shit. Yes Shit Happens.

What is shit? I’m not talking about the excretions that we make every day while sitting down on the throne reading a newspaper, magazine or whatever after just eating and drinking a huge cup of coffee. Although that may be where or how the term originated because you are just going about your business and get that feeling and all of a sudden it happens, that feeling inside or the cramps that says you better get to that throne right away. Ahhh, and then the relief. I can go graphically into this but will not to spare those that don’t like reading or hearing about shit. But then again after thinking about this maybe it is all part of how the expression originated. Often accompanied by a good shit are the sounds of gaseous matter relieving your body otherwise known as farts. Yes farts and shit are the basis of many jokes. Who cannot laugh at the scene in “Blazing Saddles around the camp fire? Yes, that is in my opinion the classic fart scene ever captured on the Silver Screen.

For some reason not known to me the expression “Shit Happens” is used to describe something that happened that there is no other explanation for or one that the person does not want to explain. But it often makes you think whenever it is used as to what really happened to make that person use the expression “Shit Happens” without any further explanation. Since no one likes to talk about shit, when a person uses the phrase “Shit Happens” it immediately stops the conversation about the topic being discussed without any further questions. But I want to go further I want to know what kind of shit happened. Was it a constipated shit, a regular shit or a diarrhea shit that happened? In other words was the occurrence or issue we were talking about to ignore the use of the term a small incident, a large incidence or one that was just completely out of control. Also in this analogy I want to know if there was a lot of arguing in the incidence so in shitty terms I want to know if there were a lot of farts involved to or is it just shit that happened.

You know if you think about it there is a whole bunch of shit going on around us every day. It is in everyone’s lives in one way or another. I bet on average we put up with more shit everyday then we actually produce in the pure physical manner. Or then again you may be one of the people that cause the shit to happen. You could be the instigator; yes you actually could be that triple heat burrito or the MSG in Chinese food that gets the gasses going to make shit happen. The other scenario is you could be the one stirring the shit to make the shit happen. You know getting someone to do something that they normally would not do, but when they do it is one of those things describes as you know “ it Happen” which really meant. “Shit happens. Yeah you stirred the shit to make it happen. Or it could be like the scene it Forest Gump which went like this.

Bumper Sticker Guy: [running after Forrest] Hey man! Hey listen, I was wondering if you might help me. 'Cause I'm in the bumper sticker business and I've been trying to think of a good slogan, and since you've been such a big inspiration to the people around here I thought you might be able to help me jump into - WOAH! Man, you just ran through a big pile of dog shit!

Forrest Gump: It happens.

Bumper Sticker guy: What, shit?

Forrest Gump: Sometimes

See shit happens everywhere even in movies. What is it that makes us use this expression other than the fact that it really does sound cool? You can make up almost any kind of story and stick it in the somewhere kind of like this.

You know I was going down to the store and then you know some guys kind of came by and asked if they could use my gin and the next thing you knew, he was dead. Yeah man “Shit Happens”

What a great excuse. Hey why did you take a baseball bat and bash in my window. Wow it was a mistake ya know, I guess “Shit Happens.”

It is one of those universal sayings kinda like f--- you but without the vulgarness of the f word.

Right now your probably saying to yourself why in the hell did Eddy P decide to write about this and why in the hell am I reading this?

Guess what?? SHIT HAPPENS