I wish you a Merry Re-Gift

Since I have never ever re-gifted anything in my life, I was doing a search for it on Google and found the script from the Jan.19, 1995 episode of Seinfield called “The Label Maker”. According to all my research this was the origination of the popular use of the term re-gifting. In case you may not remember, this is the episode in which Jerry receives a label maker from their dentist friend as a thanks for Super Bowl Tickets, only to find out that Elaine initially gave the Label maker to the Dentist for doing some free dental work.

Reading this episode made me realize just how well written this show was in terms of pure comic genius. It starts on a topic, introduces variables and manages to tie in the main topic several times. Just as an FYI the link to this script is http://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheLabelMaker.html

Ok enough of the Seinfiedisms and back to the main topic. If you search the Internet on the topic you will find the same old rules about re-gifting over and over and over again, but just to make the point I will repeat them here also adding a couple of my own before I get into my take on re-gifting.

1) Do not give the re-gift to someone who knows the person that originally gave you the gift. This is the point of the Seinfield episode
2) Take any old markings off of the gift
3) If you know when you get something that you are eventually going to re-gift it, mark on a piece of paper who gave it to you initially so you do not give it to them.
4) Make sure the gift is new and not used
5) Make sure that you do not think it was re-gifted to you
6) Don’t be too cheap and at least rewrap the gift to make it seem as new
7) Don’t’ give stuff that is obviously a major target for re-gifting such as candles, soaps, after shave, cologne, pictures, obscure DVD’s or Cd’s, etc, you get the point.
8) Don’t tell the person you are giving the gift to that it is a re-gift.
9) Don’t re-gift something that you think is a re-gift already ( unless you do as stated below )

All right now that we have covered all the basic stuff on re-gifting let me give you my take on it. You are all a bunch of cheap ass bastards that don’t want to spend any money on people but want to give away your own frickin junk. (I am glad I do not fall into that category). Let’s face it; what else do we have to do with that some of that stuff we get. You know the stuff that you repeat when you open the box. Oh!! What a gorgeous scarf!! A Scarf!! (Thinking, you dumb ass what do I need a scarf for when I live in South Carolina and it does not get cold enough to wear one) Oh Thanks so much for “The Scarf”

I really cannot come up with a good rhythm here to write a fluid article on this so here are just a bunch of random thoughts, comments and question revolving around re-gifting.

• To gift or to re-gift that is the question
• How many germs do you think are on that plastic the fruitcake is wrapped in?
• Do not drink the Aqua Velva anymore as they put chemicals in it. Just re-gift that re-gift.
• How many years does fruitcake stay fresh?
• How long does it take to iron the wrinkles out of once worn ugly necktie?
• Do people actually wear tie pins or is that just another perfect re-gift item.
• If you receive a gift that you KNOW is a re-gift you should just re gift it back to that person next year to let them know you knew it was a re-gift to begin with.
• Remember to wipe down the boxes of stuff you are re-gifting to get rid of all the dust or if you want to be a smart ass write Merry Christmas in the dust.
• Has anyone really used soap on a rope or is it just the same one that keeps going around.
• Make a joke out of re-gifting with some of your friends and re-gift the same piece of junk item year after year to each other and make sure the person has to display it in a visible place in their house until the next year when they can get rid of it.
  
  So now you know everything there is going on in my brain about re-gifting and here’s hoping you get what you want for Christmas and remember to make sure the labels are still on it.