Tuesday, December 28, 2010

A Tide Pen for Everything !!! ???

Ok so I had to ask what a Tide Pen was when I got this suggestion, but did figure it out with a little help from Google. For those of you challenged like me, a Tide Pen is a little pen that you rub on a stain when you get one that takes it out after washing it. Now we will not debate whether or not it really works as some people swear by it and others curse by it.

That’s right there are products that get rid of everything. Tide Pen, Magic Eraser and who can forget Billy Mays pitching Fix-It Pro, Mighty Mend-It and last but not least Oxiclean.

So what if we had a product for everything we screwed up in our lives and “poof” it would magically be back to the way it was before we screwed it up. Or do we really want to fix everything we screwed up because some things are better left unfixed. Kind of like the old movie “Back to the Future”. If some things weren’t messed up then others would not have happened and then everything would be different but would it be different for the better or for the worse.

Ok lets’ say we had a product that took care of all bad past relationships. “ Poof”… it took care of the relationship part but the other person is still as Asshole or Bitch or whatever else they were that caused the bad relationship. Yep it can take the stain out of an ugly shirt, but damn, it is still an ugly shirt. But what the hell not a bad concept.

BUT WAIT !!!!!!

Now Eddy P has an Amazing Offer just for you !!!

Still having problems with that Asshole that the Tide Pen would not fix…., you can still fix the second part of this with the Amazing Asshole Eraser. That’s right for $$$$$$$$ you can get the Amazing Asshole eraser and make sure that the Asshole is no longer around at all. The Asshole Eraser is shipped to you via plane, train or automobile and looks amazingly human. It comes in a variety of Ethnic variations and comes equipped with a multitude of Fantastic Options for dealing with Assholes including a 44 Magnum for the ultimate wipeout, Nunchuckas, the Tanya knee busters for immobilization rather than elimination, and the Elin autographed Flying Golf Club, among other mass weapons of Asshole destruction. That’s right for a mere $$$$$$$ you can eliminate that problem. But wait there’s more. If you order now you get a CD of the complete Guide to Communicating with the Asshole Eraser in Song. That’s right, Songs made to communicate with your Asshole Eraser Completely Free. The songs include the necessary information to program your Asshole Eraser to take care of the problem, and are cute little jingles to sing while you know the problem is being eliminated. Hit Tunes like “Just kill the SOB” , “Wipe that MF off the face of the earth” and the favorite. “Eliminate Him Now”

Disclaimer: Product not warranted against eventual arrest for Murder, Manslaughter or other Criminal Activity.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

why am i still here instead of stocking up on ahole remover...